Learning to accept changes to your body

Time and time again I hear the words “I’d love to come and work with you but only when I’ve lost X stone”. We live in a society which generally presents a slim, hourglass figure as the way to be valued.

But the truth is that few of us naturally have that shape and as we reach peri menopause, any waistline that we may have once had is usually taken away from us too. What this societal pressure does is tell us that if we are not this shape and size that we are somehow NOT as worthy as the person who is that shape and size. 

Because we feel we are not worthy, we spend less time, money and effort on ourselves. We hide in dark, shapeless clothes and tell ourselves that we’ll start to dress better once we’ve reached our weight goal.

But the truth is if you’re in a space where you’re unhappy with your body, this is actually THE time to invest in yourself. 

This is the time to increase your compassion for yourself.

This is the time to see yourself through more loving and accepting eyes.

Your body deserves peace and compassion. 

And that involves consciously directing kindness to yourself, however tricky you may find it. 

So what can you do? Here are my 3 top tips to get you started;

1/ Instead of wishing for something different with your body, thank your body for something it does well. Instead of hating something, find another part of your body you actually like (I love my white streaks) and focus on how to highlight this.

2/ Instead of spiralling into a social media funk, unfollow anything that’s unhelpful to you. If what you see sparks negative feelings about yourself, please think about deleting or unfollowing. Then replace with body neutral or health-at-every-size bloggers.

3/ Stop punishing yourself by wearing clothes that are too tight or similarly too baggy. Get yourself a few ‘new to you’ pieces that make you feel good. Don’t take a blind bit of notice of the size tag and instead make your decision based on how it makes you feel when you’ve got it on.

Remember that self-compassion is a habit. That negative self-talk you’ve been perfecting over the years has simply become the way you operate. It’s become your first and only reaction.

So we need to break those old habits and create new ones. Change can be tricky (the brain can be a proper pain to re-wire) but with practice it becomes easier and easier and before you know it, compassion instead of criticism will become your new habit.

Hope this helps x

Ever wonder why we feel dissatisfied with our bodies?

I spent some time yesterday evening with the lovely ladies who have been following a Mindful Eating course led by the incredible Lisa Beasley (please check out her website  for forthcoming taster sessions and workshops)

We talked about the relationship we have with our bodies and I think it’s fair to say that every single woman in the room (me included) had some sensitivities about her physical form.

One of the reasons we can have a bit of a downer on our bodies is because we are bombarded with highly unrealistic images every single day. We naturally draw comparisons, and guess what…..we don’t look anything like the images we’re presented with.

And it starts young too. Think back to a time where you may have had a Barbie doll.

Did you know that if Barbie was a real woman she'd be forced to walk on all fours and would be physically incapable of lifting her head?

I knew she was super slim, but I hadn’t ever realised just how out of whack her proportions were.

For example, if we scaled the doll up into real life proportions, Barbie's head would be two inches larger than the average woman's while resting on a neck twice as long and six inches thinner!

Image courtesy of Mail Online

From these measurements, it is thought it would be impossible for her to lift up her own head.
Her 16-inch waist would also be four inches thinner than her oversized head, leaving room for only half a liver and a few inches of intestine.

Her fragile 3.5 inch wrists would mean she actually couldn’t lift anything heavy and her 6-inch ankles simply could not hold up her body.

Now I know it’s only a doll, but it sends a message to the child playing with it that this is what a real woman looks like.  The reality is, it is NOWHERE near what a real woman looks like. Add in all the highly photoshopped images the glossy magazines present us with day in day out and our expectations of the female physical form are seriously skewed. 

So before you beat yourself up, please remember that most of what you see in the media is completely fictional. It is NOT real life. YOU are real life and your body is beautiful just the way it is x